Highway-24

i know i may be not enough for the mean time, but i promise to try my best,

cox i know how high the expetation is,

still again how much more people know of me that’s not i am,

somehow this became the pressure and force that’s driving me from the bench mark set in me, now i shall go beyond it as the benchmark.

I am not a person with good comprehension of things, language, matters, protocol of life,

but i tell you i’m willing to learn,

sorry that i’ve hurt you that much,

which i intend not too,

being dissapointed with myself in which how many hearts have i killed,

how many hearts which i’ve healed,

how many times i get dishearted,

nevertheless,

one day you’ll appretiate me as i’m,

that how in love as you were as in me lies that everything that your searching for…

Hi again people, which again no people at all,

If you guys don’t know i am well, turning 20 this year of 2009, which make the number 2 word stuck out. I remembered once sarah told me how she felt so bad about the number 2 being infront of her age, for me at that moment of time, i may not understand what differences would it make in life, till she talks about the sensitive “2″.

Then now its my turn, partly i assumed i have been effected by what she say so that i felt that a “2″ is a big deal, and you should be sad about it. Later on, it still doesnt leave a hinch or inch in my soul, but again, seeing my friends young and capable of doing many things, some had even achive success in life, unlike me being stuck with a “2″ starting this year still being in its excellent self.

Partly self consolation effect took place where gave me this thought:

” So what if ur 20 ? It doesnt made a different, you should be happy about being 20 means tat u live on earth for 20 years already and still counting, compared to people who just lived for 10 years or 7 years or less, you should be happy ? why ( i have no idea, maybe the fun of aging up in numbers ; not in looks or health or wealth - meaning the more number the merrier like the more numbers i have makes me a victor - i noe it sounded so Off )

But then, in fact people had lived for thousands of years. Apparently, people could live up , i mean can lived up to  4 figure digit in the past, and i bet their looks still as pretty and as handsome, the only thing is that, when u grow older, ur assume to be more knowledgeble, more wise, more experience than younger people, that is of course if your not living in a well and shut urself up.

If ur in tat kind of twenty - pity you, wasted your life.

As for me, as far as i know, i lived my life well to the fullest, and i am not OLD nor young but i am still very very young, its a fact, who gives u the impression where 50 is consider old… hello people lived up to 1000 ++ ok… with darkness being removed, and i am different and counted superbly BLESSED being on earth. I trust!

See, not so bad after all for going 20,  my 20th birthday coming soon, if your keen to know my birthdate, feel free to stalk me .. from my web to blog to sites..anyway.. one day every1 will be 20, its just see who’s faster…

Sometimes, i felt great being borned first, compared to all my friends, why ? i dont know i got this feeeling where i lived a year more on earth which makes me a ” victor ” it sounded odd, but i still thinking and searching i did i felt this way…

owh well, happy new Number Age!

Should i celebrate my 20 ? Now i find it more meaning ful to celebrate it, compared to 21 birithday / i really don;’t know anything about 21…

For me, 20 is more important than 21, cox ppl set the 21… N i don follow…

Why do we have to study a course or confine ourselves to study to pursue a job, why can’t it be jobs. The reason why students and people now making hard decisions on where to go and what to study is basically we’ve been imparted with this “ u got one chance in life, and course and study who determines ur job ur career, ur future”.

To think back, is that statement even true, u can’t be doing the samething your entire life for over 30 years or more, it will definitely bored me to death for sure.

For me, I am a person who wants to try different things in life, different jobs, different environment, most probably I will get bored easily but that’s not the fact, the main reason is I got one life, a chance in life, I would love to make full use of it before I die, well it depends on people. Some people might be very random and simple…For me, I just like to try different things, this may lead to too many things and master to none.

I got one lifetime, one job, one chance…

Due to this,I really figured out why I am in such a pit of dilemma of what I really want to work as or study, although I have started studying and left 1 more year to my graduation and yet I am still thinking and thinking while thinking gets more thoughts theres where confusions comes in.

Why, it Is because I want to work as what I enjoyed most, and like most but how would I know what I enjoyed most, there are far too many jobs in this world and I have no exposure at all. That is a fine point why, students cant make their decision at all, most probably they willbased on their hobby or what they are good at in the range where they have experience as their career. There is 95 % chances more that student are not exposed until then…Eventhough pursuing your hobby as ur career sounds yea, you like ur hobbie but then doesn’t mean you like doing it all day long, and soon you wil get bored.

The reason why I chose designing as my career path Is most likely designing wont confine you in a same routine daily , though the process of how you gonna do might be the same but , atleast its more variety. But No, not all.

sigh, i can’t find the post which i wrote in word, and i have to rewrite this whole post again due to loading problem of friendster blog now adays..

what to doL “L” this is a LAME sign dude:

- ok, i will start with san bball compeition ok my team the SHWEE SHWEE Team won 3rd place, well i wasn’t really satisfied really, i thought of atleast the second place or the champion, cox that’s what my aim is CHAMPION - gosh… met some cheaplucks player i guess - no offence you don’t know how to play basketball - slanger… no offence i forgive u…

- Well, take this oppurtunity to thank GOD for helping me in my every game, wihout injuries and good performances and for answering all of my prayers. I really don’t know how did the ball goes in from hoop to hoop, shot to shot, i wasn’t having any confident at all but just shot in, the confident 1 shot ends up a miss, some shot i wasn’t even standing still and it just drop in like a WOW PRO! hahaha S.S nah ALL GLORY TO GOD, well when the ball drop in, reminds me of all those chun players which players in mssd,pjst,pba games etc, some VIP competition players which i always view by either sitting on the bench or as the spectators or as an player which makes me feel ( they can’t shoot, what a lucky dude, i can shoot better but turns out i can’t even shoot in a single shot ) What i realize, i am more calm now in competition shooting where i can still cool down, sometimes aim and 1 2 shot! haha last time i will just blurt so kan chiong ly and end up missing all the shots, which ppl term me as USE-LESS player haha.

- Thanks to all my teammate for this 3 on 3 san bball, Ming, Sharon and chia yi not forgetting “pei shi” the emotional soul supporter that supported ming and ux… lolz

- well first time fighting in my team with opponents well, i was like shyte, er pls no.. don’t start

- another weird thing which PMS me off, is Joel ok i don’t know to term him cute or weird or just wanna act or just wanna distract - i really don’t know - it piss me off at first, no respect the game - then on second though at home well its kinda cute…The stories goes when the DJ annonce Joel is the lucky draw winner and there he goes jumping in court hahaha! ok XD he is like a kid jumping all about where the refree is trying to pull him back to the game helplessly sweat, i took the advantage and i think i manage to score  some hoops, well poor winson who say stop it! haha one thing if its my teammate i will make sure i give them a piece or pEace of my mind haha, how can you abandon your team for own selfishness, sweat!

- Ok the big deal is this year only i started driving eventhough i got my lisence zilion years ago, which my parents don’t aloud me to drive, the only places i drove is five minutes drive to segi college( L.T)  and basketball court only. But since today the competition sake, not enough transport but end up my car got 2 ppl only since ming say he wants to drive there okay, then i shall lead the way to BJ since he say he don’t really know how.

- okay, let the blurr gurl lead the way owh well he went in some technology park but still manage to get there find…. well the ter-cross red light near the BJ area. One thing for sure, its the longest drive in my life alone ( i term it alone cox no 1 gives me instruction or watch out for me ) and its RAINING heavily - i cant even see cleary! But soon to arrive there safe and sound thank GOD!

- On the way back then, sigh i wanted to take the road kesas back home but then hua went the other way i think they like signal me to go there so i make a left turn there which is ( sigh didnt know its a mistake that i can’t cross over a patched traingle ) ok i wanted to go front and turn ok… fine laugh laugh i am a bad driver…

- Ok,since driving was my passion since young but speeding wasnt my option i just follow the speed limit 80 haha nice nice fast enough since hua drive so DAM slow haha, and what the heck he did taking out a handkerchief and wave sweat! show me tat LOOK uh huh - we are so not racing! haha FUN!

- Then, i miss the turn to sunway, i was so blurr that i don’t even have the concentration to think pior that i am driving and one part is tat there is 2 drama Queens behind yacking non stop for a point to sub point from a sub point to a sub sub point, no wonder they can score so well in essay. It runs in the family says me to their sacrasticness haha, owh well, the real drama begins when i am crossing a road near asia cafe, there a car is speeding so dam fast almost like o.1 mm knock our car, which i almost killed how many ppl in my car, christine chloe, celes, haha all on the left handside 1 get killed first then i imagine my car wil fly across the road and ppl will ramp into my car and in the end all died…

How it happened was, when i am focusing on not reapearing my mistake of crossing a hatched path whether what shape it is in i don’t know, and turn left abit only, where the car don’t know from where, don’t even honk! and just FLASH through i can sense the sensational wind and impact from out and within the car since ppl inside are screaming - owh well, my bad my fault forgive me kay…

Thank GOD for protecting if not for him we’ll either be up or down…

- Ow not forgetting the most exciting and warm part the of the end of the event, i don’t know how wonderful and blessed we are to witness a FIREWORKS just right after the prize giving presentation , dont’t know where and which part of earth it came or pop up from haha BOOM ‘ that makes people goes wha! I have to make sure that PS & M = PSM mix up PMS haha saw atleast that will make their day for coming here i guess haha since it bored them waiting so long and abit unprofessional of the system lots of complains!

TODAY - i need to post thses cox i really don’t understand when u do something either on purpose and Always especially not on purpose! Not intentional - your mum will be looking or ter look sigh, of all things and time on earth - i really give a BIG SIGH! or the BIGGEST SIGH ( maybe not ) lolz!

- SLIM, SIMMY,CHIAYI

you trouble me day and night,

and caused me sleepless night,

each time you appear,

you caused me to tears,

each time you appear,

you will tare my heart apart,

you trouble my peaceful life,

even though you bring frowth joy, happiness and gladness to my life,

when it comes to this,

you always ruined everything,

the joy, happiness and gladness you gave will last for a second,

but the pain and hurt you brought will last like forever,

i tried to shrink you off but i know that’s so impossible,

Why, Why can’t you just leave me alone!

You’re bothering me so much,

and the pain doesn’t cease at all,

“feelings” why can’t you leave me alone,

and find someone else,

to fill the pain,

not me!

NOT ME ANYMORE!

ps: all strike out is either i don’t know and couldn’t find the correct spelling or either i don’t know what vocab to use…

what i am sick of nowadays is,

sick of being too concerned over other’s people life,

sick of being ignored,

sick of being notified the last in everything iam involve in,

sick of getting hurt,

sick of trusting one another,

sick of Pet Society,

sick of indulging in unneccesory waste of time things,

sick of being left out,

sick of people disrespecting me,

sick of people of the world,

sick of my assignments,

sick of what i care so much,

sick of my picky-ness with my room,

which is left empty and white, pile with dust,

sick of how i cannot pronounce properly,

sick being so stupid and lame,

sick of thinking too much,

sick of caring for another,

sick of receiving nonsense messages,

sick of people talking about their life problem which doesnt concern me abit ( only to some ),

sick of sleeping late, waking up ‘EARLY”,

sick of projects piling up like mountain high,

sick of me not being smart,

sick of complaining,

so i’ll just choose to post it,

sick of telling people how sick i am of them,

sick of people telling me what to do,

sick of people being so crude,

sick of people of No Heart,

sick of people who ask irrelevant matter that donsnt matters to their life,

sick of people being KE PO CHI,

sick of KE PO CHI-ing peoples life, while they had their own life well planned,

sick of studying something i am not passionate about,

sick of doing industrial design,

sick of not joining graphic design or branding,

sick of doing models,

sick of doing engineering drawing,

sick of you! you! and you!

In Life So Far I’ve Seen,

Some people are just some Wannabe,

Some people are just plain actor and actresses,

Some people are just plain boring,

Some people are just plain helpless,

Some people are just over Perasan which i hate the most,

Some people are just by passers of life,

Some people are just to irritating to be in your life,

Some people are just a pain to have in your life,

People are just people,

Hopeless in life,

Trying to get a life,

Some people tried too hard to be in everyone’s life,

Some people tried too hard to be in someone’s life,

Some people just ignore the world and live in their own,

So what category do you belong to ?

In every single catagory that i myself have stated above....

( i don’t care cox i write all stuff here, in any how, people don’t view my blog, except some )

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your Journal). I don’t really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I’m sure you’re ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I’m returning ___8___ to you, but I’ll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___,-Your name-

1. What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’ll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn’t match
Grey - You’re a pervert
Yellow - I’m selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You’re a loser
Other - I’m in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog went amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women’s clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What’s the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit On
Other - Drive out

5. What’s the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United’s goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The Crazy Amok

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I’ve felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - Santa Doesn’t Exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we’re cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I’m allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I’m open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Memories From The Military Service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The Oil Stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David’s tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college10.

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get Sick When I Think Of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our Friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk(SHAKE) - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In Pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Dear (Spammer).

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you’re a pervert. I think I realized it when last year under the bus and I saw you sit on yourself. I’m sure you’re open enough to understand That I get turned on by garbage men. I’m returning Your love letters, The couch cushions,The pictures from LA, Your false teethto you, but I’ll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Always have felt dirty beforeThe apartment building.

In Pain,

cy

Me, i am me -

what i love about myself,

almost everything xcept my fats, uglyness, wickedness, cunningness.

I know that i will still grow at this age, for the mean time i am shorter than my younger sister, and that’s a fact which doesnt disturb me much.

I loved the way i live my life, filled with excitements, always felt that i am the very blessed person on earth, with all my weirdness, and all my weird activities i do and dont do, yea i does crazy stuff that people don’t often do for experiences sake but there’s a limit where i know where i shouldn’t over step the line. I love to obey the Law, so i wont in anyway break the Law.

I love myself that i actually lobe music and art and played instrument, though i am not good at it, and not being seen by teachers and people that i am good at it, but i felt so satisfied with myself. cause only i know where i am, sometimes u just don’t do stuff you actually knew infront of people.

My love life ? i never been in love before, maybe in stuff such as art and music maybe or in stuff and creations of imaginationz i dwell in, that’s what i like to do. I hope to create my own Book of illustraions, lots of story in my head which i can’t write it out, or draft the sketch out cause my time is fully occupied with things that i don’t really like but have to do, that’s life.

i am the type of person which is Extravaganza sensitive, even for a little bit of mini toon problem, somehow it will effect me in a way or another, such as ” food, dressing, loundry, table, lamp, streetlights, hehe that’s somehow but its some are crap”

What i hate about myself

I hate myself that i am a scary cat, which i can’t under take lots of pressure such as TOO fast, TOO high. Yes, i am afraid of roller coaster, anything which goes dam fast and high such as sunway lagoon slides ( proud tat i did it ) , flying fox and so on. I really don’t understand wht is so enjoyable about all this machines, that will give u a shockof your life called excitement which i dont think i can comprehand at all. How i wish or envy  those who can just ride on anything that goes fast and high if its that nice or if its term as NORMAL BEHAVIOR. Sometimes how i wish i can also ride on those stuff, not term as scary cat or freaks, but i guess i just can’t breath when i am up those stuff, till now i dont have the courage to step foot on roller coaster, afraid tat i will die somehow if ever my breathing stops, or i just flew off the way my heart jumping out and i have to find a fishing rop to grap it or to hook it.

So, from today onwards i really have to kam fei, cox no time is left for me…. its just so soon tat i have spent 19 years of my life being fat… ok that’s enough for 19 years … more than enough - so SlIm Chiayi! Slim!